If you are an upper middle class white male like myself, you find yourself always looking for new and interesting ventures to be involved with. Some of those ventures are that of friendship and building quality contacts within you local community and make sure your LinkedIn profile is constantly being updated with new connections. Sometimes your endeavor will lead you into making connections with people you’d never think you’d have anything in common with.
How to Get a Black Friend

You might even find yourself seeking relationships that go against childhood rules your parents set for you. One of those perimeters might of been not to make friends with those of other colors because their culture or lifestyles might put your life in danger our you might pick up their bad habits. But if you seek adventure go ahead and dive into the world of mixed raced buddies. But how do you make a colored friend you might ask. It is quite simple and below I list a few ways to chum up with a tanner skinned bud.

Start Basic

Don’t jump in head first by going to the bad part of town to look for a black friend. You will most likely end up being shot, mugged or forced into joining a gang. Instead, go to the local coffee shop or Apple store and look for a tamer looking black friend. These types are known in their community as a ‘house nigger’ and that is because they are known for surrounding themselves within white communities and white traditions. If you are having a problem figuring out what one looks like, pick up a copy of the black comedy hit ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel Air’ and study the character known as Carlton.

Learn The Lingo

Black talk can be confusing,  they change the ‘er’ of every word with an ‘a’ and usually like talking in rhyming sequences along with odd hand signals.  There is no Rosetta Stone program for Black, so your best bet is to go down to the record store or fill up your portable digital music player with ghetto fantastic music. Listening to black rapping music will not only teach you how to slang that spit, but also teach you black trivia and learn the difference between West Coast blacks and East Coast ones.

Let Them Know You’re Not a Cop

Before approaching any black person make it clear that you are not an officer of the law. Blacks scare easy when faced with law enforcement and flip the ‘black rage’ switch when they are in contact with a protector of the law. Better yet, let them know how much you hate it when you are bugged by officers when they see you in public and ask if their is anything they can help you with.

Clear Your Family Name of Slavery Ties

Yes it has been hundreds of years and yes it is their own people who sold them off for profit and even yes it was even blacks who started slavery, but even today they are very touchy about the subject and feel ‘whitey’ owes them something. To keep yourself from falling into the ‘did this guy’s grand papa own my grand papa’ train of thought, let your new black friend know your family came from either Canada, Latin America or Russia.

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